The Mentor: It’s the Journey that Makes the Leader

About this article:
The Mentor offers a  reflection on the relationship that changed everything, told from either side. The person who shaped how you think and what they actually passed down, or the experience of stepping into that role for someone else and what it has taught you about the work and yourself.

Mentors can point the way, but we learn to lead by walking it ourselves.

I started my career. Chaos ensued. The years blurred by. Then one day, I woke up to find I’d been promoted to creative director.

Suddenly I was managing a larger team than I'd ever been part of. I wouldn't say I was panicking, because why would I admit something like that? But I needed help.

Sure, I'd had bosses. Lots of them. Creative directors. Associate creative directors. Executive creative directors. Chief creative officers. And practically all of them were kind, smart, genuine humans who weren't afraid to show up, day after day after day. But none of them had really taught me how to do the job I now had.

So I contacted a bunch of CDs I respected and said, "I don't know what I don't know. I don't even know what to ask you. Will you please just give me some advice?"

Most were generous enough to respond. Here’s some of the advice I got.

1. Define your own role: A creative director is responsible for six gazillion things. (Selling the work to clients, navigating agency politics, staffing a team, giving feedback to teams, working with production partners, coming up with big ideas, and so on.) Problem is, no one's actually good at six gazillion things. Fortunately, you're the boss, so you get to write your own job description. List the things you're good at, do those things, and staff your team so you can delegate everything else.

2. You are where the buck stops: Is that scary to you? It should be. Of course you should seek feedback, criticism and advice. But understand something. You now make the final call on the work that leaves the agency. Either get comfortable calling the shots or give the job to someone who is.

3. Watch your body language: The people on your team are going to make life decisions - buying a house, looking for a new job, planning their career path - based on how they suspect you feel about them. So drink the Kool-Aid. You have to be all-in on whatever it is you're doing. When in doubt, smile.

4. Do the work (or don't): Some people will say you have to "stop doing the work," because if you do it badly, your team will lose respect for you, and if you do it well, your team will get pissed you stole their opportunity. Other people will claim the reverse. They'll say it’s important for you to "keep doing the work," leading from the front, staying in the trenches, and showing your team you'll fight for their ideas just as hard as your own. Surprise! Either path works fine as long as you're transparent about which one you're taking. What will actually throw your team off is being surprised.

All of that advice is mostly true. Some definite gems in there. But a couple of years into my tenure as CD, I realized something:

I didn't know any of that stuff before I was promoted.

So I must have learned something else along the way. Something important that had helped me get here.

I thought back through all my former bosses. I couldn’t remember any awesome advice or singular bits of wisdom they’d passed on.

And that’s when the truth hit me like a ton of award show statuettes wrapped in a pillowcase and dropped from the agency rooftop.

The best mentorship doesn’t always happen through an email, or in an aphorism, or even over coffee. Real mentorship happens so quietly you barely recognize it.

It's watching someone endure a 16-hour day without once losing their cool… It's a CFO funding an award show submission for a questionable piece you're unrealistically proud of… It's an agency staying open waaaayyyy past the date the founders wanted to shut it down, purely because they couldn't bear to lay off their employees.

Don’t get me wrong. The advice I got was great. And I'm very grateful for it. But the best lesson was one I didn't even realize I'd learned.

Be a kind, smart, genuine human who isn't afraid to show up, day after day after day.

If you do that, most of the other stuff will just sort of happen.